Today’s episode all about the communication, expectations, and shame around sex with the BEST women’s counselor, Amanda Cornelius!
Some things we cover…
Talk about expectations early and often – talk about sex before, during, after – whenever you need to. Sex is such a beautiful window into your relationship – use it!
Sex is not meant more for one person than the other. It is meant to create intimacy and connection – for both people!
Stop reading Cosmo or other junk resources to “understand” your partner. Most generalized statements aren’t helpful. The only way to understand your husband is to communicate with him.
GET HELP if you need it!
Many of our clients are talking to us (for the first time!) about sex.
Plus, many of those clients actually need to be seeing a doctor/medical professional as well. Issues like very low libido, pain during intercourse, or inability to orgasm usually indicate a need to see a doctor.
Get help early! Otherwise, your sexual experiences with your husband can become traumatic if you are in pain or just “forcing” yourself to deal with it.
There’s really no such thing as “normal” sex. Don’t compare yourself to TV, movies, Instagram, or your friends.
BE A GROWN UP
It is your job to understand what’s going on in you (physically and emotionally) if you are having difficulties in your sex life. If you can’t figure it out on your own (or by talking with a trusted friend) – see a counselor!
Often, in marriages, I will see the wives blaming their husbands for things when really they need to look inward and see that there is something going on in themselves that they need to address
EXPECT YOUR HUSBAND TO BE A GROWN UP
I’ve seen many men project their own relationship anxiety on the amount of sex they are having. e.g. “If we would just have more sex then everything will be fine.” Expect your partner to be emotionally mature and have the self-respect to be honest about what’s going on in him.